Abstract

In a socio-cultural context, such as that of North America, where the “fragility” of intimate relationships is constructed and perceived as a social problem, what solutions to the problem do people seek and apply to reduce uncertainty? Based on 50 interviews conducted with adults in Canada, I will discuss how individuals use tools derived from therapeutic culture and folk psychology to improve intimate compatibility and reduce uncertainty in relationships. I will focus in particular on two views of intimacy that are equally popular but have a very different status in academic psychology: Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages and attachment theory. These interpretations of intimate relationships are integrated by people into what I call “implicit theories of intimate compatibility”, whose primary function is the reduction of uncertainty in relationships in response to the risks associated with the “problem” of the “fragility” of love.